Jason E. Andersen

About 15 years ago, I had a very different life. I worked as an electronics technician and, aside from thinking it was pretty neat, knew very little about the natural world. At my previous house, I had a big palm plant in the living room. It was tucked in a sunny corner behind my plasma tv. It added this wild component to my entertainment experience. 

The bad thing about this palm was that it always gave off this sticky mist that clung to everything under it. It was a mess. My beloved plasma (which my dad still has and watches today) had a varnish of sticky goo all over it, as did the tv stand and the carpet under the palm. I cursed the palm but, for whatever reason, never got rid of it. Not until I moved to my current house. The palm never made it through the door.

This weekend I found out that my contempt for the palm was wholly misplaced. It wasn’t the plant’s fault at all.

Bonus Fun Fact: Honeydew, aside from being a type of tasty melon, is a term for the sticky residue that occurs underneath plants which are infected by certain harmful insects. Certain species of aphids, mealybugs, and other insects can infest a plant and feed on the succulent juices housed therein. The insects digest said juices and secrete the waste out their rear ends. And so, the honeydew is made. It’s a very nice name considering what it is.

The moral of the story is that, if I had known this back then and actually taken care of my palm plant, it wouldn’t have had that infestation. There wouldn’t have been a sticky mess or any misplaced anger.

I’m sorry, palm tree.